Vintage

Yesterday I sat through Eclipse on the big silver screen.  The biggest question I have: where do I mail my man card? Of lesser concern are these questions: can someone pound a stake through my heart? Shoot me with a silver screen bullet?  I might ask one of these vampires in the movie to do so, but they might just kiss me instead. 

I can't begin to say what a cheese ball, corny movie this flick was and if was not for the very fact I was taken my daughter to see, along with her cousin, then I would mail my man card in now.  This was 90210 with Vampires and Werewolves.  People were talking about if it beforehand if they were "Team Jacob" or "Team Edward."  Bella, the heroine, was in love with both a werewolf and vampire.  Oh, give me a freaking break please.

What happened to evil vampires?  What happened to werewolves we need to shot, not admire their humanly six-pack? Seriously, these vampires and wolves are so pretty you don't know whether someone should shoot em or, well, to suggest anything else would be to cross the line in this movie.  

If I would dare write a movie review about this film, I would say the action in this movie was non-impressive, the acting was non-existent.  Bella goes through the whole movie with this dumb look on her face, this studying of Jacob and Edward.  Jacob and Edward merely posture the whole movie.  At stake in this war between vampires and werewolves is really Bella's virginity.