Vintage

I know this is a rather odd blogging post title, but since our other writers seem to find Unspooled a suitable place to collect dick and fart jokes, I suppose nothing is out of bounds here. Yet, somewhere within this blog posting is an illustration of how movies can help us relax not just by watching them but rather by imagining how Joe Pesci (as Nicky Santoro) in Casino, would act in such a situation as I found myself in the other day.  So instead of What Would Jesus do - think more about What Would Joe Pesci do?  Now here was the situation where I thought exactly about What Would Joe Pesci Do?

I was in Myrtle Beach (as of this posting date - I still am).  I have been here for a few days.  Now, I was in my hotel room, as the tribe was slowly waking from a slumber.  Yesterday, was a very interesting day here because we went to see a show in the evening - The Carolina Opry, which was really, really entertaining.  It was filled with charming country music, paeans to Elvis and good old hard core country music replete with Uncle Sam dropping bombs on people that don't like us, etc. They even did a hilarious take on Jeopardy with Abe Lincoln, George W. Bush and Barrack Obama - Man, how they did this without offending anyone too much, was credit to these performers. Let us establish the show was great entertainment.  Anyway, what was not entertaining was how we got free tickets to this show, which should have normally cost upwards of $160.

You see we were "gifted" for agreeing to sit through a time share presentation by Wyndham Resorts on a concept they call "Vacation Ownership".  Man, this was almost not worth the tickets and it took far longer then they said (4 hours versus 1 1/2 hours).  I had no idea what I was getting into.  We were curious about getting into a time share, but really wanted to educate ourselves first.  It so happened when we were checking out the scene at a wonderful Myrtle Beach thoroughfare, Barefoot's Landing, I stopped at a booth and inquired about tickets to the Carolina Opry. 

After a few qualifying questions, some guy says he can get us free tickets if we agree to a time share presentation at the Wyndham.  Hey, for $160, it seemed a fair trade.  It almost wasn't.  However, thankfully, I had my movie experiences to fall back on and make the most of what turned out to be a very high pressure sales presentation, where a series of saddlebags were content to not let us out of a room until we caved in and agreed to spend, even financed through Wyndham, some $30,000 to $60,000 on "vacation ownership deeds" where you get points that can be redeemed at all sorts of resorts worldwide and the planet Mars and Jupiter for all I know.

Our sales guy was hilarious.  He was a fast talking, smooth black guy, who we learned, as he took us on a tour of the Wyndham Towers, started out in the cleaning department wiping "shit from the walls."  Do you think he started getting a little too comfortable with us? At one point, he told us a story about his many ladies in the area. This was prompted when my wife excused herself to one of the ladies room we passed during our tour.  He looked at me quizzically and said, "So you and your wife-that is your wife right?" he sort of whispered.  Jokingly, I said "One of them."  He smirked knowingly, gave me a high five and said "That's what I'm talking about..."

It was about here I started thinking about What Would Joe Pesci Do as Tommy in Goodfellas.  Remember, when he he said to Stax, "So, is this where you take all your bitches...".  That thought came to mind  as he showed us all the suites.  

I don't fault the guy for plying his trade, but the high pressure was so gimmicky it was funny.  We heard stories about "blind kids that smile everyday even though they can't see the world, folks with diabetes that "had their legs chopped off and found a reason to smile."  We heard about why we need to vacation and why vacationing was important and that we die early if we don't vacation (presumably at a Wyndham resort).  We were reassured it was okay to be part of "a privileged few..."  That as renters we are part of a rift raft sort of market, cavorting with drunks, drug addicts and other frat boys who had no respect for rental property...  We heard about how families treasure vacation memories, etc.  We heard how we are idiots for renting hotels; how we are throwing money down the toilet.  However, it was more then "Slick Nick" - a name he inexplicably told us he was called by the staff - it was everyone that was part of his high pressure sales process.  We got a series of sales people writing numbers on papers and sliding them across the desk to us.  You know what I was thinking?  What would Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro do in this situation? 

I simply couldn't help but remember that scene where Pesci and DeNiro are standing in the middle of the Nevada desert and DeNiro as Rothstein is wondering if he was going to get whacked for going over Nicky Santoro's head.  Remember what Pesci as Santoro said.  However, it played differently in my mind:

"I don't know if you know, but I made all this possible....  I am what matters out here...  Not your fucking Wyndham Resort...  You fucking cottage rentals on the beach.  Your fucking points system.  I am what counts out here not you...  When the fuck did I ask you if I could come to Myrtle Beach.  You are making a big spectacle of yourself you know that... Don't ever think you go over my head on this vacation ownership stuff...  You better bring a  big fucking army."

I suppose the point of all this is that movies can do more than entertain us at the point of watching them.  They can stay with us.  They can help us deal with some of life's interesting hassles that come along perhaps by laughing at them.  To be sure, I am not promoting living out any kind of sick fuck stupid stunt from a movie.  I am simply saying if you are in a certain situation that is either uncomfortable, boring, mindless or whatever, an interesting way to make it lighter is to ask yourself "What would Joe Pesci Do?"

Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro wouldn't put up with a high pressue sales presenation.  No way. He would be planning to have a few holes dug out in the desert.  So as the salesmen all got up gathering all their horse shit numbers, papers and notes, it was with a certain knowing smile I said to Slick Nick: "Is that your pen on the table?"