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 Ghosts of Mars is a mishmash of many movie genres: ghost, horror, zombie, martial arts, action, sci-fi, and thriller. Did I miss anything? It should be noted that the weakest of the genres mentioned would be a ghost flick. Ghosts of Mars is no haunted house blanket grabber. It is more of space snore. Yes, there is the word “ghosts” in the title and you do see some “mist” that passes for ghosts at points, but ghosts in this film serve more or less as a convenient hitching post to tether a Martian martial arts zombie extravaganza featuring a hot blonde (Natasha Henstridge) and popular gangsta rap artist (Ice Cube) in a good cop, bad cop action romp.
Some have said this is the nadir of Director John Carpenter’s vast body of work. I won’t protest. Then again, it just might be cleverly hammy. After all, it takes great skill—believe it or not—to deliberately make a classic, so-called, B-movie. Just repeat the name of this film, “Ghosts of Mars.” Can you really take it seriously? Could John Carpenter not have smiled when he was writing this script with co-writer Larry Sulkis? Still, we have to compare this film to the overall body of Carpenter’s work and well, if Ghosts of Mars is not his worst film, I am not sure what is. The story takes place in the latter part of the 22nd Century. We find ourselves on a Mars that has been semi-colonized. Unlike Los Angeles, Mars has breathable air and humans can walk about it without special protective suits. I didn’t see any Walmarts, so maybe the future is not all that bad. Women run the planet Mars in the future. We learn this through an onscreen overview of life on the red planet which tells us that the form of government is “matriarchal.” This really has no significance insofar as the plot is concerned. I was curious how this came to be? Did Oprah Winfrey buy Mars in the 21st Century? The movie never explains.
The main story involves police officer Melanie Ballard (Henstridge). She is tasked with going to a mining outpost and bringing back a notorious prisoner, Desolation Williams (Ice Cube). Doesn’t that name make you simply cringe with fear? She brings a team along with her, which includes Sgt. Jericho Butler (Jason Stratham, of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels fame) and an assortment of others. At first, Ballard is second fiddle to Cdr. Helena Braddock (the legendary Pam Grier). However, Braddock soon loses her head—literally as Jericho finds it later on pike. For most of the film then, Ballard is the one in charge. When Ballard’s team arrives. They find the mining compound pretty much abandoned. However, they discover signs of a bizarre struggle. There are blood smears in many places. There are also crude defenses erected out of all sorts of sharp objects. I noted that one such defense was created using those ubiquitous black-handled metal scissors that seem to be on every desk in America today. I don’t know who makes those scissors but I guess scissors are still scissors even a couple hundred years from now.
Not too get too far off topic, but imagine what the Gillette razor blade company might have in the future: “Mach-20 Nano blades” or something. What with their breaking the sound barrier with razor blades in the 20th Century, who knows what they might achieve in 22nd? Come on marketers—can’t scissors reinvent themselves somehow? Can’t you add a third blade that lifts the sheet of paper, while two get in there and cut it? Why am I discussing razor blades and scissors? Because it is hard to cover the fact that Ghosts of Mars sucks. But back to Mars. What Ballard and her team discover is that the miners found some sort of alien door buried in the side of a rock wall. They opened it and let out this red mist. This mist is supposedly the “ghosts” or spirits of long dead Martians. They are very mad from having been locked up for so long and now regard Mars’s newest human inhabitants as invaders that must be destroyed.
Later in the film, I’m sure I heard Ballard say something to the effect, “It is our planet now.” Wow, what a non-apologetic viewpoint on colonialism quite unexpected in today’s overly sensitive times. Anyways, all miners who breathed in the dust become genetically altered and behave like lively zombies. They engage in self mutilation and all sorts of body piercing and pick up some Kung-fu skills along the way. Their goal is to kill any humans left. They have a scary leader too who looks like Gene Simmons in full regalia.
Let us briefly focus upon the production values of Ghosts of Mars, since the producers did about the same. They were okay, bordering on something that would be on the level of made for TV fare. There was nothing particularly scary about any of the zombie-like mutants and there was nothing about Mars that would really engage the imagination. The setting in Ghosts of Mars was like a Sergio León landscape with a red tint over it. The martial arts scenes were non-impressive. Even the bizarre body piercings were nothing terribly eye-catching. Maybe there are just too many freaks in the real world? As far as acting is concerned, If Ice Cube was not famous for being a rapper, then I could not imagine him getting a lead role like this based on his acting ability and looks alone. The guy can rap. The guy can’t act. And, that is a fact—did I just came at you freestyle for a second? He is not tall. He is not ripped. He can’t do martial arts. Furthermore, for all the bad things never explained about a guy named “Desolation,” his character is pretty much a nice guy the whole time we get to know him.
Henstridge, whom you may recall from the Species films, was adequately cast. Her character was perhaps lacking that tough grit portrayed by Sigourney Weaver in the Alien films. There was no edge to her at all. She had as about much emotional range as a video game character in a first person shooter. But overall, her part didn’t require her to be much more than hot. And she is hot. The only other observation I’ll add about this film is that it features a totally mishandled love angle. It appears almost out of nowhere that Sgt. Jericho has the hots for Ballard. Ballard displayed practically no interest in Jericho the entire film. However, when they are alone, she suddenly caves in to his male braggadocio and they kiss. There was nothing to set this up. She never smiled at any of his jokes or innuendos. She seemed to dislike him completely. However, there was a small amount of respect she had for Desolation Williams. Here the potential to make the film more engaging was ignored. Wouldn’t Ghost of Mars have been much more interesting if Ballard fell for Desolation Williams? I am not saying that she didn’t do this because this would have added a perhaps not-so-safe interracial element to what really amounts to boring, yet safe and sound sci-fi film, but it would have made much more sense. It would have added an attention-grabbing element, if she, as the straight-laced leader, fell for the hardened criminal. After all, at the end of the film, Ice Cube and Henstridge are a machinegun-wielding duo who come to admire each other. Why not just have them do it? As the film ends, the red mist travels all the way back to the main city. We are meant to believe that the whole city is under assault from the “ghosts.” Desolation Williams then breaks into Mallard’s home and gives her a nickel-plated machinegun. He utters something to the effect, “Let’s do what we do best—kick ass.” The past part of the movie comes precisely at this point — The End.
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