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 I am legend should be re-named “I am Boring.” This movie did not quite do it for me. I have seen this movie before, in many scenes, in many other movies, in many other clichés and though there is not one part of the movie that is not serviceable enough there is nothing in Legend that is legendary.
This flick is a thoroughly safe single in a nine-inning game of baseball, maybe even a bunt. That is if movies could be compared to such a boring laborious sport such as a baseball (If you are wondering why I am busting on baseball it is because I am or perhaps suffer as a Pittsburgh Pirates fan). Then again, we compare movies to playing cards so what is the difference?
I am Legend is the third feature film adaptation of Richard Matheson's 1954 novel of the same name, following 1964's The Last Man on Earth and 1971's The Omega Man. Well, I guess that is why this film just exudes being derivative and clichéd. It’s been filmed twice before and mimicked a thousand times. This lends credit and weight to the original but that doesn’t buttress this film in the least.
We get Will Smith and who does not like Will? Hell, everybody likes Will Smith. In fact, I bet even the most radical Islamist fascist out there has nothing bad to say about Will Smith. Here, in Legend, he is a scientist, Robert Neville, who is busy making a cure for a cure. You see, somebody earlier in the film, cured cancer only it, being the cure, went on to cure the Earth of humanity and turn about the whole planet into zombie-like vampires. Some might argue it worked just fine! Will Smith is one man that was not infected, presumably the only man left on Earth. He runs around New York City in a cool car with his German shepherd dog as a bad ass sidekick. Together, they hunt and gather. Neville is working on a cure for the cure. It is his hope to undo what man had done. I don’t normally read too much between the lines with religiosity and everything in between but I wonder how this movie sits with the Catholic Inquisition crowd. They all went ape shit over Golden Compass, a freaking kids movie. In Legend, God is deemed guilty by absence at best or as a God who doesn’t really give a shit at worse. Didn’t the directors ever learn there is no such thing as Divine Retribution? Nonetheless, Legend is a Godless world, one in which humanity brought the apocalypse. In Legend, Neville eventually runs into another human survivor. Her name is Anna (Braga), who is roaming about New York City trying to raise her kid (Tahan), something that was probably equally as difficult before the city was wiped out. She is a fervent believer in faith. However, Neville goes off on her and says something to the effect, “God didn’t do this, we did.” But, therein, the manner in which he berated Anna suggested to me at least here is a true atheist at his best. After all, an atheist probably wouldn’t have a problem with a disease mutating humanity into creatures that live like vampires and devour any sole survivors. After all, developing and marketing a mutating cure for profit, which spirals out of control and kills damn near everyone on Earth is just the next logical step for corporate America anyway. In fact, would not an atheist simply sing Bob Marley’s “Don’t’ Worry… bout a Thing… Because, everything is gonna be all right… Don’t worry bout a thing…” Light up the bong now! Couldn’t this be an atheist mantra sung as a way to cope with a world that was Godless anyway? Maybe I making too much out of that. Alas, I had to entertain myself somehow. Still, I wonder. To be fair, I have no beef against atheists, which is a religion of sorts too. However, they all seem so freaking depressed all the time. The only one I know, suffers from seasonal affect disorder and when not swearing or mother flocking something, he will incessantly bitch about how stupid the rest of us are for having faith and how illogical it is. Now I am not the type to think God is sitting up there in a flowing white beard heaving lightning bolts (though that would be cool as hell) but I am not one to think that merely because I never saw an angle play a harp that… Ah, I am just going to shut the flock up about it. Back to Legend. Atheist be damned, its greatest sin is I found it boring. How is that for atheistic comeuppance? Special effects in Legend are serviceable and the plot has built in simpleton appeal, which usually translates to decent box office revenue. However, there is simply nothing really special about this film. I thought it could have been enhanced with some more detail about how the cancer cure wiped out everybody. I wanted to learn more about the end of the humanity. Instead, we get the apocalypse and End of Days as a back drop for Will Smith stunts and other acts of bravado. To be fair, there are some decent parts. The highlight of the film include Will Smith getting caught in a foot snare, much like the trap he had set for a zombie he captured and wanted to experiment on in his lab. Other than that, this movie needed to ratchet up some of the science that could have plausibly lead to this sort of grand catastrophe. I am not saying it should have turned into Jurassic Park with all the “look kids a dinosaur egg,” but it is clearly evident we have screen writers breathing life into movie scientists, who show us they are scientists because they don white lab coats and so what else could they be. I am sure many average movie-going zombies would like Legend. There have been much worse films made for sure. In fact, the original adaption in 1954 has been credited with popularizing vampires and zombies. However, as I said before, that does not mean the modern day version should get a free pass. Just because it had the temerity to mimic an original work of cinematic pop art doesn’t mean it has any extra merit. There is just nothing that makes this movie a legend in my eyes. Yes, Will is a lovable tough guy but it is a tough case to say he is a really cool tough guy. He has too much of a charming pretty boy swagger. I associate him too much with the Men In Black flicks. He may be Legend in this movie. But in my eyes, this movie would be more aptly titled I Am Forgettable. Matthew J. DeReno is a writer living in Pittsburgh.
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